It did not take long for my moderator responsibilities for the Fibromyalgia support group to get interesting. This past weekend one member showed her ambition and several others showed their displeasure.
I organized the support group through an online social networking site. They are masters at making it easy and organized to start your own group. Before this weekend, the only requirement to join my group was to live locally and be suffering from Fibromyalgia and/or chronic pain/illness. Of the 23 members, 22 joined because they were genuinely looking for information, coping skills, community and compassion, but one less than active member was looking for customers.
Her first attempt at interacting with the group was by jumping into an e-mail thread about carb cravings and low energy. This is what she had to say:
I would love to share my story about how I now have my inflammation in complete control naturally and I no longer have painful flareups that I have had for years. I have been reading everyone’s comments and I hear so many people who need help. The nutritional product that has changed my life and my health is something called Monavie. I will gladly share my story and explain more about why this one nutritional thing has changed my health.
Clearly a sales pitch, right? For those of you who have not heard of Monavie, it is one of the newest mulit-level marketing schemes opportunities which promises great health and great wealth. Now the former sales rep in me could almost appreciate the efforts of this “member.” After reviewing her profile I could see that she belonged to several health and wellness groups and with each group she offers to “share her story.” Let me tell you, sales is not easy, and I would imagine sales of this product is even more challenging. So she is ambitious and she has found a clever way to find potential customers without having to put forth much effort. Well, she tried her sales pitch out on the wrong group.
The well-informed and thoughtful women in my group were all over it. Here is the first reply.
I am very leery of these products that profess to cure every illness known to mankind. People with FMS do not have inflamation, even though it feels like it. I have tried too many ‘miracle’ cures over the years and won’t subject myself to that roller coaster ride anymore. It’s harder on the psyche than dealing with the pain. That’s my experience.
Thoughtful, well-spoken with a side of “I’m nobody’s fool!” How clever of her to point out the Fibromyalgia does not cause inflamation. But the replies became a little more heated after that.
Please don’t use our site to promote and make money off of people who suffer from cronic pain which is neurologically based. There’s no magic cure. And there’s no food in the world that can take away my pain. Don’t try to sell me anything. That’s not what this group is about.
Polite yes, but to the point. And again well-informed enough to point out that Fibromyalgia is believed to be neurologically based. Eventually I stepped in, even though I think the members made their point very clear.
I appreciate that you are selling a product you believe in, but as (group members) have expressed already, this is not the appropriate place to do so. It is important to me as the group moderator that each member feels safe and comfortable sharing with each other via our groups protected e-mails. Please feel free to join in on any conversations as long as you are simply sharing information, not selling a product.
I guess coming from the moderator made it somewhat more official, because until this point she had written several more times in defense of her miracle elixir, but after my response this is what she had to say.
I apologize for even trying to help anyone. Obviously, this is a heated subject for many people and I apologize to everyone for even saying anything. When you mentioned that you were interested in what people were doing that helps I thought that I would share what I know as a nutritionist and a person who has personally suffered for years. Obviously, this is a beehive of sensativity here and again I apologize for offending anyone with the recommendation of nutrition.
Now as moderator this irritated me, but as a former sales rep this made me laugh. It irritated me because until this happened the e-mail threads between members had been positive and informative and filled with suggestions on how to improve our health and well-being. We are all clearly interested in doing so. For her to imply otherwise just confirmed that she was looking to make a sale, not a difference, and when she failed she became defensive. And that is why the former sales rep in me found it funny.
It is impossible not to get upset/defensive/irritated/defeated when you put yourself out there and again and again you are turned away. Sales is a hard way to make a hard living. I learned early on that I sold more because people liked me than I did because I sold a great product. This is where she went wrong. She did not take the time to get to know this smart and savvy group of women before force-feeding them a product which already has a not-so-stellar reputation.
Score one for the support group. Now excuse me while I go adjust the membership requirements for my group. I would hate to see what would happen to an Amway distributor if they accidentally joined our group.
It’s so funny how people will suffer with pain, take medications (drugs) for years which don’t help much, but when someone recommends a natural product for them to try they get all upset only because they think someone is making a profit from them??? They don’t get upset at the Dr., the pharmacist, drug company…??? They think because the company decided to take the product out to market thru Network Marketing instead of TV. Radio, Newspaper, Magazine, it’s a scam? go to MonaVie.com/Science or better yet try the product for 90 days and then you can criticize it!
I am also a support group leader and we have had several instances of this sort of thing. I also am an active member in the Fibromyalgia community on http://www.dailystrength.org and occasionally we get a sales person there also but we can sniff them out quickly and they never get very far.
My first experience was with a couple who joined, both claiming to have fibro and need support, but as soon as they got through the door, so to speak, they started emailing members through the website and promoting their products. I won’t say which company, because I believe this to be a “people” issue rather than something the companies encourage. When you get a “true believer” in one of these businesses, I think the line between help and self-promotion blurs for them.
We have speaker meetings, and I have even had doctors ask to speak, and found they are self-defined “fibro specialists” who are looking for new patients and believe we are a fertile hunting ground. We listen, take what they have to say that is useful, and move on. If individual members want to see them professionally, they are more than welcome, but I won’t promote one doctor over another because we all have different “standards” for what we are seeking in a medical professional.
Sorry this happened to your group, but you do get used to it, and you handled it perfectly so you and your group are going to be fine. I did move from an “anybody can join” standard to an “approval required” standard because of this. That keeps most of them away, as they have to go through me before they can get to the group. Just last week I had someone who is not local offer to “share their story” (which seems to be a code word for “I’m selling something”) and when I sent a message asking for her to share a bit of her journey with fibromyalgia, I never got an answer. Problem solved.
To IgnorantWomanNot
Your generalizations astound me. You are clearly not a careful reader because if you were you would see that I was critical of the sales technique, not the product. It is unethical to join a support group just to push your wares.
I take it from your defensiveness that you are a Monavie distributor as well. Neither you or the group “member” are doing a service to the product by being so aggressive in your attempts to educate people about it.
If it is a miracle elixir, maybe you should double your dose and it will improve your attitude and your attention to detail.
Good luck.
Sue, thanks for the information and the encouragement.
I also changed membership requirements to “approval required.” We actually had our second meeting this evening and everyone was appreciative of how it was handled and grateful for the changes I made to our email and membership settings.
The ironic thing is that we all felt the same way. It wasn’t the product we took issue with, it was the way we were approached – infiltrated really. Lesson learned.
If you do not object I may contact you directly about being a support group leader. Thanks.
From what you provide I did not get the sense that she was force-feeding the product. I do agree she should not have done what she did. I did get the sense that you are not good at sales.
“Neither you or the group “member” are doing a service to the product by being so aggressive in your attempts to educate people about it.” -you wrote. I would call that responding to allegations. It sounds like you are the defensive one.
Your mistake was making this whole ordeal your post. You should’ve never brought it up and focussed on more positive things for your members. Just let it go. Good luck with your site.
Joe, you read into it what you wanted to see. The fact that you assume I was not good at sales goes to my point. No mistake here. I am rather enjoying that this caused some reaction. The cool thing about having my own blog is that I get to write what I am inspired to write. This post was essentially about how much the women in my group rock, but my blog is not for my group members. It is for me, my outlet. Thanks for reading it. FH
i think what i resent is the dishonesty. i, also recommend what treatments help me; but i do not sell anything. we are all too vulnverable with hope for a cure, or anything to help us live with this life-altering illness. i, also, use daily strength, the fibromyalgia support group and have learned a lot about this illness. the people are helpful and don’t have another agenda. thanks for pointing out this issue.
I think it is great and perfectly acceptable to recommend what works for you. That is part of why people join support groups – to share information. Thanks for the info on Daily Strength. I am happy you have found a group you are comfortable with. FH
I hate it how sales people worm their way in everywhere. If you post an add on craigslist you get bombed with all sorts of offers, spam email, etc.
Here is what the leading expert of Fibro told me – If it isn’t proven to work, it isn’t going to work.
There is some stupid Acai Berry Juice on the market right now that is disgusting they keep pushing it for Fibro sufferers. Ugh, I just want to say go the frig away!
How fun you are doing a group. Sorry that idiot got in.
Just like the women in my group you are very well informed about Fibromyalgia and therefore you are not easily fooled by a clumsy sales pitch. I appreciate that you are such an advocate for your own health. Too bad you live so far away. I would love to have you and your spunky attitude in my support group! FH
Wow girl- good stuff. I took the pledge and will share the website along with fibromyalgia haven
with patients or friends that have FM or need more info about it. I am so happy that you have this outlet and can help others while helping yourself. Merry Christmas my friend… cathy
Thanks Cathy. You have always been so supportive and interested in my well-being. I appreciate you so much!
i see your blog this very nice.i like monavie juice