I have no idea how devoted bloggers manage to keep their posts up in December. I am desperately behind. No time to research and write an interesting and/or educational post, so I thought I would just write about how busy December is and how difficult it is for me to manage it all with Fibromyalgia.
Busy for me with FM is different that it used to be – parties, dinners, lunches, shopping, decorating – I used to thrive on everything Christmas. Now I have to pace myself. I no longer decorate rooms with Christmas paraphernalia, now I am happy to have a simple tree decked out with all of my favorite Polish Glass Ornaments. I love my ornaments. Here are a couple of my favorites.
Poinsettia
Santa Pillow
Madonna & Child
Noah's Ark
I have been collecting these ornaments for years. They are a little pricey, but since my hubby is a Polack, I figured I would honor his heritage by not purchasing the “Made in China” versions. Each year when I break them out to decorate the tree, it is like I am discovering the ornaments for the first time again. I unwrap Noah’s Ark and it is like “Oh yeah, this one is so cute!” You can’t see them in the photo, but there are two of the cutest penguins on the back. I just love the detail that goes into each ornament.
Details! I used to obsess over the details of getting all of my decorating and shopping done. It was like I was constantly competing with myself and what I had done the year before. And once I had all my shopping done, I couldn’t just wrap my presents, I had to WRAP my presents – lots of bells and whistles – fancy paper, handmade bows, elaborate tags and embellishments. I was obsessive. Now that I am writing about this I am starting to think I was nuts! I can’t believe the amount of pressure I put on myself, because certainly no one else was pressuring me.
I have really let all (most) of that go now. Now I just sit back and enjoy what I can do, and I don’t fret over what I can’t. I have already postponed one lunch with a friend, and a dinner planned with my in-laws, and you know what, it is okay. It is okay that I just finished decorating my tree last night, and that there are no signs of Christmas anywhere else in the house. And it is okay that this is only my second blog post in a week.
Boy, don’t I sound all evolved in my current state of acceptance? Well it has taken me 11 years of living with Fibromyalgia to get here. And really I have to attribute a large part of it to this blog. It is like I have finally admitted a deep dark secret, and the burden to be “normal” has been lifted. I was a closet Fibromyalgian! It is such a relief to take off the super girl cape that I used to put on everyday and finally admit – I hurt today, I have limitations today, I don’t think I can make it today. The pressure I felt before was all self induced, no one asked me to try to be super girl. I did it to myself. I think I am being much nicer to myself these days, and I will probably enjoy Christmas much more because of it.
I plan ahead, and on weekends I write a few, then save them for a day when I need a quick post. Don’t worry about keeping up, a blog should never feel like work!
Thank you my wise blogging friend. I have been feeling guilty that I have not written many posts, but you are right, it should not feel like work.
But still, I think you must write as quickly as you say you read, because your posts are always long and detailed, and then you say something like “gotta go, my lunch hour is almost over,” and I am left thinking OMG, she did all of that in an hour!