I am realizing today the shift my new writing assignment is forcing me to make with my blog. You see I have tried very hard to make my blog specific to Fibromyalgia, how it affects my life, news and information on Fibromyalgia, etc., but I am realizing that there is a reason I have not been writing about Fibromyalgia everyday. Mainly it is because I do not want to THINK about Fibromyalgia everyday.
When I got up this morning my first thought wasn’t “I wonder what new and exciting thing happened in the world of Fibromyalgia overnight.” No, it was more along the lines of “Mmmm, coffee.” and “Do I want eggs or cereal for breakfast?” “How cool is it that Rice Chex are gluten free so I can have cereal for breakfast!” “Shit! I better get that check in the mail today!” Nope, nothing Fibromyalgia related until it was time to sit down and write. So now maybe I am thinking that to successfully pull off my 30 in 30, I may be writing some posts not specific to Fibromyalgia, but more specific to the mundane nature of my thoughts. Hope you all don’t mind!
I guess in a way you will get to know me better. For example you now know I swear occasionally! I have actually considered on several occasions starting another blog dedicated to my thoughts on life in general – politics, news, pop culture, stupid people, etc.. I even had a tag line in mind – “This is my space, these are my thoughts, so SUCK IT!” It makes me laugh every time I think of it, but I could never keep up that level of angst. It is just not me. It is obvious by the tag line that I am anticipating backlash to running my mouth off, and why would I ever willingly invite that kind of stress into my life? I will just keep writing those kind of posts in my head! An internal monologue on life. Now that is a great title!
So that is my little dilemma for today. How to keep up the integrity of my blog and complete my writing assignment without forcing the content? I will figure it out. It is really more of an opportunity than a dilemma. It reminds me of a great excerpt from Steven King’s memoir On Writing:
I had been playing with the idea of writing a little book about writing for a year or more at that time, but had held back because I didn’t trust my own motivations – why did I want to write about writing? What made me think I had anything worth saying?
The easy answer is that someone who has sold as many books of fiction as I have must have something worthwhile to say about writing it, but the easy answer isn’t always the truth. Colonel Sanders sold a hell of a lot of fried chicken, but I’m not sure anyone wants to know how he made it. If I was going to be presumptuous enough to tell people how to write, I felt there had to be a better reason than my popular success. Put another way, I didn’t want to write a book, even a short one like this, that would leave me feeling like either a literary gas-bag or a transcendental asshole. There are enough of those books – and those writers – on the market already, thanks. (King, 8-9)
As startling as it was for a moment to recognize that the great Stephen King (author of an uber number of novels) doubted his own purpose of writing a book on writing, once I digested it, it almost came as a relief to me. On a much less prolific scale I get it! I had those same thoughts when I first began Fibromyalgia Haven several months ago, and I am having those doubts again as I consider an alteration of format. I do not want to be a gas-bag or asshole either!
So bear with me as I navigate these new waters. My content is still very important to me and I am going to be diligent about finding my new balance. This blog is and forever will be dedicated to Fibromyalgia, but after reading Stephen King’s book on writing, I realize it is okay to add a little personal flare here and there. And I promise, I will keep the swearing to a minimum.
3/30
Well, Sis I don’t blame you at all for not wanting to think of FM all the time. I’m sure there are days you just don’t want to think of much of anything. I am proud of you for all you have done and how strong you. You just keep on going even when times are so tough. I love you!!!
Love S. King’s On Writing. I listened to the audio version. I love him so much. My favorite part was about plot. Stephen says never trust plot. You think that would help me with my writing since my memory is so screwed up. And man I can sound a bit like a sailor too. My favorite word is “Bastards” Everybody is a bastard! I think your blog rocks.
A hearty AMEN to the not wanting to think/write about fibro every day. When my psychotherapist told me to put it on the back burner and quit focusing on it, I was shocked. And then a psychic (oh, that IS a story…) said the same thing.
Once I stepped back and looked, it came as a relief NOT to have to be concerned about “not crashing” all the time. If I crash, well…I crash. But the whole “I am not my diagnosis” is healthy.
So tell me more about self-sabotage. Or eating gluten-free. Or a million other things that surround fibro and is still part of other peoples’ lives. It can be done 🙂
By the way, moving to San Diego in June. Hubby is trying to go cheap and head for Oceanside. Is it as, um, oh…grungy…as it was when I lived there 20 years ago? I’m voting for Carlsbad. Do you have any suggestions? He’ll be working in San Marcos, so from what I remember, not a big commute issue. Really looking forward to checking out the Wellness Center.
I’ll take that deal. If you’d like to check out her website its http://www.erinpavlina.com. She’s an amazing and very empathetic person to talk to. I’ll tell you why I talked to her later 🙂
Thanks for the tips. Wow, Vista, really? I remember it as being a dusty trailer park. But that was a long, long time ago. I can hardly wait to check it out.
We’re flying down for a super quick house hunting trip May 20-23. Not enough time to really look, so we’ll probably end up in an apartment for a while. My poor dog!