Wow! Last week was bad. Hell really. One of my most intense flare-ups I have had in a while; the kind of pain and fatigue that literally distorts your facial features. The few times I bothered to look in the mirror last week and take inventory, I was amazed at how awful the stranger peering back at me looked. It was a really long week. It was nothing new. We have all been there. We will all be there again. Then why, each time I suffer that severe of a flare, does it all seem so desperate and unending?
Fibromyalgia is such a bitch! Just go back and read my last post written on a good day when I was feeling lucky and supported. How dramatically different is this post. Don’t get me wrong. It is not that I am all of a sudden sad and hopeless, I am just once again humbled by the overwhelming nature of Fibromyalgia. I was just given a very firm and intense reminder of the unpredictable and debilitating status of my health.
Today is a new day, the start of a new week. The mirror is kinder and gentler today. Everything in my life that was put on hold last week is still here this week. My blog! Oh how I miss my blog on the days I am down and out. It is my lifeline. Those of you who left comments – even though I did not reply to them, they really helped me feel connected during my flare – THANK YOU!
So, now to regain my momentum. First thing, now that my brain is starting to function again, is to make a list of all the things I want to accomplish. Second, remind myself to take it day by day. No pressure, just keep moving forward and progress will happen. Third, honor my limits. It is so easy once you get on the good side of a flare up to try and make up for all the time lost. I am not going to do that. That time is gone, I cannot get it back, and trying to would only stress my body and possibly send me back in to a dark hole like last week.
Lastly, I am going to remind myself that I am so much more than my pain and fatigue. It is a part of who I am, not all I am. Fibromyalgia took last week away from me, but this is a new week. I will continue to work towards progress in all areas of my life, because yes, even though my blog is all about Fibromyalgia, my life is not. Seems weird that I have to remind myself of that, but then if you have ever been through a flare, you know exactly what I mean.
It is amazing how pain can make you look different. On the days when I’m in a ton of pain I look so sick, miserable, and worn down. Luckily there are good days huh? lol
Jenn
Hey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were having a flare up! I wish I had the support you had . So hard with a demanding 11 year old son who has his own issues, bless him. And all those things you are wanting to get done surprisingly enough will still be there, waiting for you when your better. I am always glad to see your blog and know you are with us all. Hope you enjoyed the movie, considering what it was.
I’ve been through the same physical and emotional condition the last 10 days!!! A bad fms flare!! And in my head I had the same thoughts! Isnt it unbelievable?
Each flare seems like the first time we have it. Each flare make us feel so helpless becouse of the pain, even though we have lived it before. In each flare we fall..and then we have to stand up again!
But from now on I will try to remember that fibromyalgia has a good thing…we experience the same issues,same thoughts..we are not alone!!!
Dannette, I wish this thought will keep you alive and strong when a bad flare comes!!!
Thank you! My wish is the same for you, and for all of us who suffer with FM & chronic illness.
I hope your flare passes soon. I think it is so great and important that even in the midst of a flare you take the time to connect with people on their blogs. You are giving yourself a great gift and helping combat isolation. I need to learn to be more like you. My instinct is stay away from the world when I am in a flare, but then I shut myself out from everyone who could help me. Thanks for the lesson!
I’m sorry last week was so horrible for you. I know we have to expect to lose weeks like that, but it’s always such an unpleasant surprise for me. I never see it coming and I struggle so hard against it. And I’m like you, I tend to shut myself away from everyone during those times.
I’m glad you are feeling better this week and I’m glad you are wise enough to take it slow instead of trying to make up for last week. That’s a lesson I need to learn! Take care!
Every single time it happens it’s like reliving the first time again. I just can’t understand it. It’s kind of like childbirth. When it’s happening it is hell, but then a week later its like amnesia has set in and the pain seems so far away and I begin to feel hopeful and ambitious again. Isn’t it so hard to remember to “honor your limitations”?
I really feel for you. Yesterday I had a good day and was so happy that I actually got some stuff done. Today I couldn’t get out of bed and it can be so frustrating! onwards and upwards …
first time blogging, first glimpse at a shared experience of living with fibro Tears of joy and gratitude –I’m not alone with this fibro. I’ve learned so much already. Thank you from the bottom of my once lonely heart!
Hi, I was recently diag. with Fibromyalgia. It is such a relief to read the thoughts that are so identical to my own. At times I think I have simply slipped into insanity, because on the good days this seems impossible to believe. I keep thinking that I have brought this upon myself… Thank you each one of you for your posts. I will continue to stop by. Debbie/Oklahoma
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